Everything You
Ever Wanted to Know
About the
Glove
of Darth Vader, but Were
Afraid to Ask
By
Has there ever been an
in-continuity story that has been so hotly
contested
as the Glove of Darth Vader series? A six book series by authors
Paul and
Hollace Davids,
Glove of
Darth Vader is notorious among fans of the literature for being absurd,
corny,
and just plain silly. Large groups of fans refuse to accept it
into their
personal versions of continuity, and even highly respected fan
chronologies
have sometimes been reluctant to include the stories.
However, Lucasfilm
Licensing has made it increasingly
clear that it does include the books in continuity, as
evidenced by the
innumerable references to the events, species, planets, and characters
from the
books. This has had many fans scratching their heads; "Just how does
Glove of Darth Vader fit in with the books and comics I know and
love?" Most fans are too squeamish to read the books after
reading
the bad press they've received (heck, after the weird looks I got
reading them
in the back of Barnes and Noble, I can't blame them) so they wouldn't
catch
references made in other parts of the Expanded Universe.
With that in mind, I decided to undertake a project
(like I don't have enough
of these things going anyway) that only a die-hard fanboy
who takes this sort of thing way too seriously but knows it and can
laugh at
himself could do. This project has been over a year in the making
on the
Jedi Council Forums, but it appears here at the SWFA in completed form
for the
first time. It is a tongue-in-cheek look at Glove of Darth Vader,
which I
hope will be both entertaining and educational. I'll take you
through the
events of the series, while breaking to explain the important
continuity links,
political situations, and historical factoids. So, buckle up your
crashwebbing, and get set for a Moff'n
good time!
Introduction: What
Came Before
In the aftermath of the Battle of Endor,
the Empire
shattered into countless warring factions. Moffs
and admirals broke away from the Empire proper, and began establishing
their
own little kingdoms. Some held only a single system, others,
entire
sectors. Warlords such as Darcc, Lumiya,
and Harrsk began dominating the galactic
scene.
Some, like Warlord Zsinj, built empires
that would
rival in power what remained of the Empire.
On Coruscant,
Intelligence Director Ysanne Isard
eliminated the more legitimate heirs to the Empire in the
The
Imperial Advisors proposed
that they be allowed to choose a successor from their own ranks to lead
the
Empire. The governors of the Empire agreed to meet with the
Advisors, but
also demanded to be allowed to vote for a new emperor. The
advisors
backed down, but the Moffs
persisted. Under the
leadership of Grand Moff Hissa,
a group of Moffs and Grand Moffs
banded together as the Central Committee of Grand Moffs,
forming a respectable opposition to Isard's
regime. And while previous attempts to find a direct genealogical
heir of
Palpatine's had failed, the Committee knew
where to
find Palpatine's true heir...
In
the eyes of many, the Central
Committee was the Empire. During the Glove of Darth Vader
series, the
The New Republic (known in these books as the Rebel
Alliance--the two names are
used interchangeably in the post-ROTJ literature up through the X-Wing
novels)
itself has relocated its base since the Battle of Endor;
the Rebels now operate once again out of the Massassi
Temples on Yavin IV…
Chapter
1: Droids on a
The book opens on Yavin IV, one year after the Battle of Endor.
Artoo Deetoo
and See Threepio are being outfitted for a
spy mission to the
planet Kessel. Luke chooses some new
head
plates, and presto-changeo, after a session
with a
Droid Modification Team (what a cushy job—all you have to do is change headplates and slap new paint jobs on droids all
day) Artoo and Threepio
look just
like Kessel droids, which apparently
differ substantially
from all the droid crowds that these guys usually blend into.
The
three of them then head off to
an important meeting of the new Senate. It hasn't been made
exactly clear
as to whether or not this Senate is the same group as the Provisional
Council
from the X-Wing series and other books, but the
Spotlight: Palace of the Woolamander
This ruin was discovered years ago by Rebel scout Dr'uun
Unnh. Unnh
chose this
name simply because he had found a huge pack of arboreal Woolamanders
nesting in the palace. Dr'uun also
deemed the
structure unsafe for habitation, so the New Republic probably repaired
some of
the damage before the Senate started meeting there (either that, or
someone on
the New Republic Structure Utilization Board has it in for Mon Mothma.) The building is also haunted by
the ghost of
one of Exar Kun's
Sith followers.
Years later, when
Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila
entered the palace, this spirit gave them a bit of trouble, but it
doesn't seem
to bother the Senate. It's likely that the presence of so many
politicians gives the evil ghost some comfort.
In
a secret room deep within the
palace lies Exar
Kun's Golden Globe, and the slumbering Jedi
Master Ikrit (shh!
Don't wake the Kushiban!) The
building is also home to SPIN.
SPIN stands for Senate Planetary Intelligence Network, and it is an
interim
organization founded by Mon Mothma.
Admiral Ackbar, Leia
Organa,
Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Lando Calrissian,
Chewbacca, and the Droids are all key members.
Luke and the droids arrive at the meeting on
time. Present are the
aforementioned key members of SPIN, along with Chief Councilor Mon Mothma. Han then makes a comment that leads to
one of my
favorite lines in the series:
"'Well, kid,' Han said to Luke, 'you sure did a
great job on these droids.
If I didn't know what was going on, I'd swear I was on Kessel.'
'Thanks, Han. Coming from you, that really means a lot.'"
Sheesh.
Here is Luke, the “humble” Jedi Knight, taking credit for the toils of
the
brave and fearless Droid Modification Team back at the
Mon Mothma calls the
meeting to order, and begins to
explain the Kessel mission:
"Thousands of grand moffs,
evil warlords, stormtroopers, Imperial
droids, and enemy officers from the
Empire are arriving at Kessendra Stadium
on Kessel for a big gathering in their
capital city."
Gotta love
that speech. "Evil warlords"... Does this mean that all
those "good warlords" can't come?
Artoo has been
collecting information on every
important Imperial who might be present at the "big gathering",
including those who would like to be the next Emperor (heck, what evil
warlord doesn't
want to be the next Emperor?) Mothma
explains
that there is much controversy about the latest prophecy of the Supreme
Prophet
of the Dark Side, Kadann.
Spotlight: the Prophets of the Dark Side
This group was founded in the early years of
the
Empire, headed by a Supreme Prophet and fallen Jedi Knight named Kadann. The group was also called "The
Secret
Order" and, true to its name, remained unknown to all but Palpatine's closest advisors during the
Emperor's
reign. Palpatine consulted the
prophecies of
this group frequently until after the Battle of Hoth.
Then the Emperor ignored them, laughing in the face of Kadann
when he foresaw the Balance of the Force and the destruction of the
second
Death Star. After the Battle of Endor, and
a hearty
"Who's laughing NOW?!" from Supreme Prophet Kadann,
the Prophets of the Dark Side went into hiding.
Imperial Intelligence, apparently
rebelling against Madame Director Isard, set up a fake set of Prophets
to aid
the Central Committee. These Prophets were headed by false
versions of
the most powerful of the real Prophets, Kadann
and Jedgar. This Kadann was
apparently a former member of the Secret Order, and a dark side mage in
his own
right. The new Prophets started a Church of the Dark Side, which was
then
sanctioned by Grand Vizier Sate Pestage (the Imperial
dictator-of-the-month at
the time) as the ONLY legal religion in the Empire. Because of
their
prophecies, which included little things like the resurrection of
Emperor Palpatine (if only they knew!) and
ultimate Imperial
victory, the Church filled a gaping hole in the morale of the Imperial
forces,
and they soon became a household name across what was left of the
Empire.
Operating out of Space Station Scardia in
the Null Zone,
they are a force to be reckoned with in this era, having gained the
loyalty of
much of the Empire, including the forces of Grand Admiral Peccati
Syn.
Kadann's latest prophecy states:
"After Palpatine's fiery death
Another leader soon comes to command the Empire
And on his right hand he does wear
The Glove of Darth Vader!"
This prophecy provides, as you might imagine, the
title for the book, as well
as the de-facto title of the entire series.[1]
The
Glove of Darth Vader is indestructible, a "symbol of evil that would
survive forever" and so it survived the explosion of the Death Star II.
Of
course, this isn’t the first
time part of Vader’s wardrobe has survived the explosion of a Death
Star.
When the original blew, the section containing Vader’s chambers
remained mostly
intact. It was brought by scavengers to a remote system, where a
group of
Rebels would later run into his spare helmet and cape. It’s also
said
that Vader’s lightsaber survived the
explosion of the
Death Star II, and that it’s somewhere on Endor… Basically, there are bits of Vader
all over
the place, but it’s the glove that’s special. After all,
Imperials
would look pretty silly hunting the galaxy for Vader’s left boot, or
the funky
little chain on his cape.
According to rumor, Vader’s
indestructible glove is a Mandalorian crushgaunt,
a
combat glove made of micronized Mandalorian
iron. How it can be “indestructible” when Luke clearly cuts
through the
glove during their duel in Return of the Jedi has yet to be explained,
although
Abel Peña has theorized that the glove is built around a Tales of the
Jedi-type
Sith amulet. This could explain why
the Luke's
pure, modern lightsaber, the noble weapon
of a Jedi,
is able to cut through the evil-infested and vile Sith-augmented crushgaunt that is indestructible otherwise.
Either that,
or the authors goofed. (My friend Zack was a huge fan of this
series when
he was eight, and was quite disappointed when he noticed Luke cutting
through the
glove in Return of the Jedi.)
Mothma thinks that someone at
the Kessel
meeting might have found the glove of Darth Vader, and will claim to be
the new
Emperor. To spy on the meeting (another one of SPIN's
agents probably went in disguised as a good warlord, but was most
likely
bounced at the door of the Hotel Kessendra)
the
droids will go to Kessel's surface in a
landing pod
disguised as a meteor. (The pod was built by "Admiral Ackbar and his fellow Calamarians"
for this mission.) Since Han and Lando
are
going to Bespin by way of Kessel,
they plan to eject the pod from the Millennium Falcon as they
pass. But
it's not just a pod that looks like a meteor! Oh no! When
the
Droids leave Kessel, it will shed the
meteor coating
so that it will look like a probe droid! And then they will be
picked up
in the upper atmosphere (such as it is) of Kessel
by
a modified Imperial Command Speeder. It just gets better and
better.
But they're not leaving just yet. First, there
is a romantic scene with
Han and Leia "under the starlit
sky".
Han has decided that he's going to stay at Bespin,
and start on his lifelong dream—good ol' Lando has offered him a lease (is that the best Lando could do to a guy who he betrayed?!) on a
piece of
sky, so now Han can build his very own dream Skyhouse!
Whoo hoo!
(Is it any
wonder that Leia was considering dumping
him for Isolder?)
In the next edition of "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the
Glove
of Darth Vader But Were Afraid to Ask" we'll go to Kessel,
and find out just who is the next Emperor, and why he pays triple for
contact
lenses.[2]
1. The series has also been called The Son of
Palpatine.
2. Delpo of the Jedi
Council forums
says: “An average contact-lens user
would have
said ‘why he pays 50% extra for contact lenses’ (unless you only have
one eye,
of course.)” What can I say; math was never my strong point.
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